This fic makes me feel like I'm on cocaine
by AsianOne
Summary: Just the average teenage love story about a guy, a girl, and the hot guy who pops out of her pastry. GaaraSakura slight NejiSakura
1. Chapter 1

This fic makes me feel like I'm on cocaine

_Hey, Lauren here. Yup, weird title isn't it? I got it from a System Of A Down song. It seems like it has nothing to do with the fic but it has to do with how I got the idea. I went camping this week with my school and my friend Joey was eating a Ding-dong and was like: What if while I'm eating this Ding-dong it turned in to a really hot person_

_and I was like: What the hell is wrong with you? Are you on drugs?_

_Then we were listening to 'This song makes me feel like I'm on cocaine' on his ipod and then he said: Well, this Ding-Dong makes me feel like I'm on cocaine. So after awhile I was thinking about his idea and I was thinking: You know that idea might be just crazy enough to work as a fanfic. Thanks, Joey you are so the shit! _

"Gaara, I'm hungry." Sakura whined as she walked home from school with Gaara.

Gaara ran a hand through his hair.

"Can we go to the store and pick up something to eat?" She asked, tugging at his sleeve. Gaara sighed.

"Okay," he grunted, "But you can only pick one thing." he said, turning to the dusty old corner store and opened the door, the rusty bell that was hanging on the knob, rang, greeting them both.

A girl sure can work up an appetite after a day in the hell hole known as high school. Sakura was a shy but shallow girl. She was too shy to make any other friends besides Gaara. But she also was very shallow because even if she wasn't so shy she wouldn't make any other friends besides Gaara; she secretly thought everyone, Gaara excused, was either retarded, on too much Ritalin, ugly, or a mixture of all three.

"Chocolate! I want you, little Ding-Dong!" She said in a sing-a-song voice.

Gaara raised his...uh eyebrows? and gave her a stern glare.

"Chocolate? Again?" He sighed. What could she say? She was hooked at a young age. Born Snickers in hand, unbiblical cord still uncut. And it wasn't like she was taught any better. Her parents had died in a freak accident, involving them being brutally and savagely ripped apart by a school of hammerhead sharks. So she lived alone with Gaara.

"Yes! I love the chocolate pastries!" She nodded happily.

"Okay then." Gaara grumped, handing some money to the ancient-looking cashier. "I-I-It's free of c-c-charge," the old man croaked, "have a nice day." he wheezed as they left his store, the bell ringing once again as the pair left, the door swinging closed.

Sakura patiently walked home, not even sneaking a little bite. She wanted to savor the little treat as much as possible. Her eyes lit up as she saw the apartment building come in to view. She grabbed on to Gaara's hand. "Come on!" she encouraged him, "Go faster!" Gaara sighed, and continued to walk at the same pace, while the small pink haired girl tugged at his limbs, going as fast as she could.

"We're finally home!" She shouted. Gaara stared as the girl eagerly ripped open the package. He walked out of the living room to the bedroom. "I'm going to change." he said, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his collared shirt of the uniform for their school. She nodded and took a bite of the small pastry, closed eyes, lost in chocolate-vanilla bliss. She chewed slowly, not wanting to miss any of the flavor. She put her mouth to the pastry once more and parted the walls of the ding-dong and tried to gently suck out some of the icing. She was so lost in the moment she didn't even hear Gaara return to the room. But she did hear him suck in a deep breath. The kind of breath you take when you're scared shitless, which for her was very often. But Gaara never had done that before. Ever. She opened her eyes, instantly alarmed and gasped in half fear and half surprise. She wasn't sucking on the cream filling as she thought, oh no, she was sucking on skin. The small chocolate covered cake with vanilla icing in the middle was gone. And the replacement was a guy. A hot guy. And to put the icing on the cake (bad pun unintended) Sakura practically just made out with him.

Gaara's eyes narrowed at him, then at Sakura. Shocked, didn't even begin to _cover_ what she was feeling. The boy just stared blankly, as if it was perfectly normal to pop out of a Ding-dong, completely naked in some random person's living room. Gaara stared at Sakura who was staring at the boy. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Sakura blushed at the sight of him. He was God. His long, perfectly straight, silky, chocolate brown hair cascaded down his back, the same color as the Ding-dong. The kind of hair every girl in the universe wanted. His pale eyes resembled the vanilla icing, as did his skin. But the smoothness of the icing was no comparison to the flesh of the boy. Soft, but durable, Supple yet firm. Who knew a Ding-dong could be so hot? She blushed again when she finally realized he was naked. She backed away, like a scared rabbit and hid behind Gaara. The threesome let awkward silences fill the air. Gaara finally decided to break it.

"Why is there a naked guy in my living room?"

_I know this is a pretty messed up fic but I like how it's going. So tell me what you think. Read and review-AsianOne_


	2. Chapter 2

**This fic makes me feel like I'm on cocaine**

"He um popped out of my ding-dong. So, can we keep him?" I asked, eyeing the boy.

"No." Gaara said. Asshole.

"Please I'll feed him and everything!" I pleaded.

"No." Gaara stood firm.

"You can't just throw a naked, defenseless boy out in to the cruel, cold world!" I said.

"Watch me." he said.

"No! Please, can we keep him? I'll feed him, clothe him, and give him baths. Pretty please?" I asked, making a very sad face.

Gaara looked unmoved.

I hugged him.

He looked unmoved and uneasy

I kissed him gently on the cheek and patted his hair gently, then spontaneously broke out in to the second verse of Livin' on a Prayer. A Bon Jovi classic. There was no way in hell he'd be able to resist _that._

Gaara shrugged my hands off his head.

"You can keep him just stop fucking singing!" He said.

I smiled happily.

"Follow him," I said gently to the boy, pointing to Gaara, "He'll get you in to some clothes." I said.

The boy looked confused, "Clothes?"

I sighed and pointed to what Gaara was wearing. The boy's eyes lit up as his eyes soaked in the texture of the fabric that made up Gaara's shirt. He reached out to touch it. Gaara growled and slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch what you can't afford, kid" Gaara spat, even though this so-called "kid" was probably at least a year older than him and about an inch or two taller.

The boy looked quizzically at him.

"What can't I afford?" he asked in a soft but deep voice.

"Me" Gaara said, walking away toward his dresser to pull out some clothes for the naked boy.

"You're selling yourself?" the boy asked innocently, studying the hula-girl lamp resting on the coffee table, then batting his fluffy boy lashes at it, he turned to face Gaara. Gaara huffed, "Just forget it," he handed the boy a green shirt and jeans.

He looked confused. Gaara sighed impatiently, "Put the damn thing on already!" he said, raising his voice a little.

"Put on?" The boy said, testing the words out.

Gaara sighed heavily then grunted and mimicked how to put on the clothes over his own. The boy nodded thoughtfully and put on the clothes as a normal person would.

"Much better" I said.

"Much better" he repeated.

Awkward Silence.

"So...What's your name?" I asked him.

He looked at me blankly.

"Name?"

Gaara sighed.

"Oh Lord," I turned to Gaara, "we have a lot of work to do."

He shrugged. I thought for a moment.

"Well, I want to name him Gaara Jr." I announced to them both.

Gaara shook his head angrily, "No fucking way! _That_ little shit is **not **going to be named after _me_."

"Yeah! That little shit!" the boy agreed with Gaara, in an innocent voice.

"Idiot" Gaara muttered after the boy said that.

"Idiot" the boy mimicked.

"Never mind," I sighed, "Let's just figure out what to do with him."

The boy walked over to me, his eyes fixated on my hair.

"We're the same," he said, pointing to my hair and then to his, "except mine is better"

I gave him the "hand".

"As if!"

"When?"

"Forget it." The kid was hopeless. He's like a three year old in a sixteen year old body.

Gaara grunted. It was obviously video game time. No hot guy that popped out of a ding-dong could ever take away from our video game time. It's _that _special.

Even if we only have just an old school Nintendo 64 set up and the only games we own is Mario Party 2 and Pokèmon stadium. You must understand this is a sacred time for Gaara and me. We're hardcore like that.

"Video games?" I asked the boy, handing a controller to him, while he looked at the TV screen with interest.

Pretty soon he was getting in to it; he was a fast learner, although the games were not hard, it was a step up from groping Gaara.

"Ha! I shall win you all!" I decided after the boy's character, Luigi died and this was Gaara's worse game. Gaara grunted. But the boy let out a gasp.

"A sleeping person!" he exclaimed, "But why is he sleeping? It is not nap time. Nap time is after lunch."

Gaara shook his head in disapproval as the boy thought for a moment.

"I think he is just making up his own times." The boy decided thoughtfully.

"Um...The guy isn't sleeping he's dead." I lifted an eyebrow.

The boy let out a sigh of relief, "Thank god, because I thought I was him because I also have green on but if he is dead then that cannot be me." He smiled.

"That is you" Gaara said icily.

"But I don't want to be dead! I want to be alive!...Or a cowboy..."The boy said, looking very unhappy.

"He meant that your character died." I said, shaking my head, my eyes still on the screen. Then cheering in victory, when I won. The boy cheered along with me. Gaara glared and glumly told everyone video game time was over. The boy sat up and began to jump around, then stopped to try and hold a conversation with the coffee table. We have a lot of work to do before he goes out in public.


End file.
